Past never goes away….

I must first start by stating that most that know me, know that like most everyone else, I have a past.  Wow, big shocker right?  I am not one that dwells in the past now.  I use to think my past would always haunt me, but i know I am a new creation and have been redeemed. I have to believe that Truth or I can get really bogged down in guilt and shame.

Last night, I had a time where my past was thrown in my face.  Not by someone else, by me. Something triggered in me that led me straight to some old feelings that I thought were surrendered.  You might think that this has kept me down.  It really hasn’t.  I was down in those few short minutes that I was processing where the feelings and thoughts came from, but then I applied Truth to that “stinking thinking”.  Wow…that is so gay that I just said stinking thinking.  Anyway, I had a memory of a past relationship where I couldn’t communicate anything.  I was very caught up in pleasing the the other person.  I remember not feeling like I had any say in the relationship, that if I did say something that I would not be accepted, and that love really is just an emotion that would be stripped form me at any minute.  The great thing about this memory is that now I could see the other side of the coin.  In that relationship I didn’t know any better.  I had just some “life survival skills” at the time and had not and would not apply any Truth from the Lord.  

It’s an awesome feeling when you realize that you do matter, in the Lord I  can be complete lacking nothing. We all want to matter.  I want to matter.  I do matter.  It also is an amazing revelation when we realize that we daily have to CHOOSE to love.  Love is a feeling but it is also a choice.  We have the choice to love others when they wrong us just as they have the choice to love us when we wrong them.  That’s A-mazing.  That means that love doesn’t have to be conditional.  We can choose to love just as Christ loved.  We can choose to love the unloveable, we can choose to be and accept love when we don’t FEEL we deserve it.  

What’s funny is we have an enemy waiting to devour us all by showing us our faults when we least expect it. However, he can and is defeated when we hold fast to the thought that Christ loved us enough to redeem us, he CHOSE to forgive us, so we can now CHOOSE to accept that forgiveness.  I have chosen to accept my gift that the Lord has freely given and let loose of the guilt and shame that wants to creep in when I don’t see it coming.

So…I’m moving

not to another town

not to another job

not to another church

but to my grandparents house

I’m excited, yet kind of spooked 

all at the same time

yay for a bigger house

yay for cheaper rent

yay for a huge yard

yay i can have a garden

yay no more island traffic

so i am moving

next month

Still thinking….

I am still trying to come up with some not so dorky name my photography business I am wanting to start.  I’m still in the process of learning but, I want to get some cards made and get the word out.  I would love input….or business if you need some shots done.  I hope you all had a great holiday weekend.

NOBAMA in ‘08

Maybe I have a little of my mom running through my veins.  I have had and heard of  recent conversations with some people that I hold in dear places in my life.  They told me they were voting for Obama.  Now, let me let everyone know that I am not some huge political finger pointer but, when it comes to this election, let the record show that I WILL NOT VOTE FOR OBAMA.  I hear every different excuse in the book about him.  Bring home the troops, let’s have change, etc….  I am all for some change, but not the way he is wanting to change.  Let’s talk about his mentor for a second.  He is in one video stating “Not God bless America…God Damn America.”  This is Obama’s mentor!  He has been fed and bought in to this man’s lies.  He is a socialist.  He is the start of damnation for our country.  Great christians that I know are stating that they aren’t sure of his faith but its ok because we need change.  How did that become ok?  When did we as Christians decide that we can over look our leaders’ faith…especially when it could lead to harm for our country.  That’s my rant for today….opinions?

Independence Day

I love my family.  I got a chance to visit with some today at my parents’ house.  The 4th of July is my mom’s favorite holiday.  She goes all out!  I mean ALL OUT.  She even had patriotic hand towels in the bathroom.  

We had flag plates, napkins, and cups.  I love it!  She is a member of the Republican Women’s Party.  What can I say, she loves her country.  Here are a couple of shots from today!

Vacation

I got back last night from a vacation in North Carolina. My family stayed in a cabin in Franklin which is about 20 minutes from everywhere beautiful. We hiked, rode some trails on horseback, fished, slid down giant rocks into freezing cold streams, and had some great family time. The scenery in NC is absolutely beautiful and breath taking. While hiking some of the trails, I became very aware of how God is very awesome. He made these waterfalls, the rocks, the sunsets, and the mountains all to seen by me but to bring Glory to Him. I just want to thank the Lord for making such beautiful creations. I felt so close to him this week and it was amazing.

Check out my work…

I have recently joined flickr, an on-line photography community. Please check out some of my latest photos and let me know what you think. Click here to view them.

Little people are precious

I met two pretty amazing little people today!  My friend Mandy and her husband Lenon adopted  2 year old twins earlier this year.  I haven’t had the opportunity to meet these little ones due to distance and other crazy circumstances.  However, today was the day.  Let me just say that Mikah and Mikade are beautiful and perfect!  I fell in love with them right away.  They are two of the sweetest kids.  We had a big family reunion with two additions.  I hadn’t seen Mandy in over a year but we didn’t skip a beat!  Another friend of  ours was here too, Cristee.  These two girls are great and definitely hold a special place in my heart.  We may not get to see each other very often but its kinda like an old shoe, always fits just right and is comfortable.  I had a awesome time today and look forward to many memories with Mikah and Mikade. 

office space

i must say that i love the move office space…just a little confession!

I’m sure I have just started a war when I post this…

I would like to introduce to yall my brother, Kelly.  Most of yall see the serious side of him but I love love love this side of him.  He is a fellow blogger and is going to kill me for this.  That’s the beauty of it!  check him out at www.kellymedders.wordpress.com

Charity