have you ever wondered what it means to “work out” your salvation.  i have struggled with this thought more than once.i once thought it meant to do good deeds so to obtain salvation.   then moving on i thought it meant to believe in christ and then do the things of the lord.i now know that it means to simply be obedient to god.  to be able to hear god’s voice and be obedient to his commandments and “work out” my salvation.not being a huge physical fitness buff, working out left a bad taste in my mouth.  the more i thought about if i worked out physically, my efforts would lead to endurance and to great physical health.like my physical fitness, my spiritual fitness is very important.  being obedient to the lord produce endurance of faith, spiritual growth, and great spiritual fitness.  in conclusion, “working out” my salvation is not such a difficult thing to understand.  it just starts with me being disciplined as in becoming physically fit.  

Well…God has been doing a work on me the last few years in the integrity department.  I want to be a woman of great character and value.  I want to be the same by myself as I am with friends.  This past weekend, I had a revelation when it comes to integrity for me.  I was visiting with some friends at a birthday party.  We had a great time hanging out and laughing.  A guy I semi-dated came over for about an hour and I turned weird.  I’m talking about uber flirt, life of the party, and full of laughs.  I really do care for this person, but its getting really hard for me to just be myself when he is around.  I don’t know what takes over my body.  Its the craziest thing.  That bad part about  it is he is NO GOOD for me.  He has been an addiction in my life.  I have come back to him and he has come back to me over and over.  I am ever changing my mind when it comes to him.  I also noticed that with the friends that Saturday night, I was not the same person I was when I pulled up in the drive way.  Nothing major was wrong,  just completely different.  I had on so many masks it wasn’t funny.  I was a joker, a know it all, and who knows what else.  I was totally aware of my masks.  I don’t want to be that person.  I want to be the person I am when I with my best friend.  Comfortable in my own skin.  I realize it takes time.  I just need to find the balance of being honest with who I am, and not having to be completely vulnerable with EVERYONE! I have been blessed with the ability to get along with anyone…and have conversation with anyone.  I just don’t want to be fake!

I am involved in a group called Living Well.  Its a recovery ministry that I have been a participant for going on 3 years.  Every year, we get a “word” at our round-up that is mine for that year.  My last word that I recieved was FOUNDATION.  You may think that this  is trivial or meaningless, but to me it has blown me away. 

The third year  is a year of spirituality.  You go through a class and really learn what you believe and the best part is you learn WHY you believe what you believe.  God has really been doing a major work in me that I didn’t know I needed.  My foundation has been rocked.  He is starting to strip me of false beliefs and replacing them with truth.  He is rebuilding me from the foundation up. 

I am the girl that grew up in church, listened to multiple sermons, and went to Sunday School.  Yet, I never knew why I believed the things I believed.  I am so thankful that God has put me on this road of questioning, doubting, and wrestling with Him.  In the end, I feel confident that all I will have is Jesus and NOTHING else.