Rainy days…

So…I’m sitting at home on a rainy afternoon, struggling to keep my eyes open.  Its days like today when I want to curl up with a good book and read until I fall asleep.  I’m looking out my window at the rain running down the glass.    Even though I felt my life is in a dry and dusty place…God showed His mercy and love and sent His rain to water my soul and quench my thirst.  I am coming out of this dry place in life, and yet the only thing I can think about is how long this “feeling” will last. With spiritual maturity, I have come to realize that my feelings are not something I can use to give myself a spiritual health exam.  Feelings and emotions are just the indicators to do an inventory on my mind, body, and soul.   Don’t be fooled…inventory is not for the faint at heart….be brave and check yourself.  Who knows what God wants to do when we get TOTALLY honest with ourselves, with others, and with God. 

Family Reunion

This past Sunday I went to my family reunion.  Just like any other, there were people there I had no idea who they were.  I ate a bunch of good ole’ home cooking, loved on  the horses, and visited with family I hadn’t seen in a long time.  My cousins, aunts, uncle, great aunts, great uncle, second cousins, and who ever else is kin to me are all “Christians”.  I use to love saying that I came from a God fearing family, but this past reunion made me realize that I am different than the rest of my family.  I’m not judging their faith,  but I saw things that were not of the Lord.  I realize that everyone slips especially around family.  However, I was actually criticized for being late because I went to church.  I think most of my country kin folk think that God is just a Sunday activity.  It makes my heart hurt when I think about all they are missing out on by not going hard after Jesus.  Being different isn’t always easy, but its definitely worth it.  I just wish they knew the Lord that I know.  He is my savior, redeemer, comforter, friend, master, with a list that could on and on….

Compromise…why do I do it?

Its seems the theme for my life right this very second is learning not to compromise…to seek holiness.  Everywhere I go, the sermons or the the talk of my friends turn to compromise.  I get it God…you want me to strive for holiness.  You want me to not settle for second best.  You want me to not compromise.  I was always taught that there was grace…grace to cover a multitude of sins.  Where that is true, there also comes a point in my life where I have to learn to call the smallest compromise what it is….sin!  Ouch…those small compromises are where I have found comfort.  Listening to the gossip of the day, watching a movie that is not quite good for my eyes, meditating on thoughts that are DEFINITELY deadly to my spiritual walk, and being loose with my lips are just a few of the smaller compromises that I encounter on a daily basis. 

When God started revealing to me that He wanted me to STRIVE to be pure, I never knew it was going to be this hard.  I thought I could keep from doing the big things…you know what I’m talking about.  He has lit a fire under me to purify me…to burn away all of the impurities..the dross.  I’m in process…and will always be in process!

FOUNDATION

I am involved in a group called Living Well.  Its a recovery ministry that I have been a participant for going on 3 years.  Every year, we get a “word” at our round-up that is mine for that year.  My last word that I recieved was FOUNDATION.  You may think that this  is trivial or meaningless, but to me it has blown me away. 

The third year  is a year of spirituality.  You go through a class and really learn what you believe and the best part is you learn WHY you believe what you believe.  God has really been doing a major work in me that I didn’t know I needed.  My foundation has been rocked.  He is starting to strip me of false beliefs and replacing them with truth.  He is rebuilding me from the foundation up. 

I am the girl that grew up in church, listened to multiple sermons, and went to Sunday School.  Yet, I never knew why I believed the things I believed.  I am so thankful that God has put me on this road of questioning, doubting, and wrestling with Him.  In the end, I feel confident that all I will have is Jesus and NOTHING else.