just another day

When someone says communication is the key to all heathy relationships please listen.  They are like a wise old owl.  They know their stuff.  I have some very very close girlfriends that I believe have healthy communication.  With that being said, we SUCK at really telling the truth and being clear in our communication.  Just when you think you know how to say what you really mean, its misunderstood or taken out of context or even better yet not communicated at all.  Over the past few days, I have had some pretty tough bouts with these girls.  There has been some hurt feelings, misunderstandings, anger, bad language, and if you can think of anything else that could go wrong please insert here happen in our conversations.  I wonder when Jesus said your tongue is like the rudder of a ship what He really meant by this statement in James.  My thoughts tend to come out too quickly are are not seasoned as they should be.  I am at fault for some poor communication.  But( I love buts inserted in blogs), I will say that the poor communication did produce good fruit.  These misunderstandings and hurts were dealt with in an appropriate manner spurring growth.  I love it.  What was meant for evil was used for good.  Growth seems to the common denominator in life these days.  What a great theme.  Without this growth I would become stale and not produce any fruit. Thank you Jesus for this safe place to learn.

Its amazing me to me much I can let fear of failure paralyze me.  I thought that I had worked through this fear, and for the most part I have.   I have spent the last 3 years really examining my life and the reasons why I do the things I do.  Upon starting back at college, I never dreamt it would be this demanding.  I had two tests back to back on a couple of Tuesdays ago.  Its was Abnormal Psychology and Anthropology.  I studied nonstop. I studied days before, the night before, the morning before, and crammed right before these tests. I nailed the Anthropology test with a grade of an A.  I didn’t get by so well on the other receiving a C, but I’m happy with it because it was a stinkin’ hard test.  Multiple essays.  Graduate type work.  I say all this to say I was not happy at first with my grades.  I wanted perfection.  I wanted to ace each of them.  I realize the anxiousness I was experiencing before was in fact my fear of failure. This fear can creep into other areas of my life.  It can creep into relationships, holding me back from really experiencing the best that a relationship can offer.   I can experience the fear of failure in my spiritual life.  Fearing that I may not ever quite measure up or fail at a relationship that is so freely given to me.  One that has absolutely no strings attached.  I have to stop and tell myself truth…truth that states that I am not a failure.  I do try my best and with trying my best, it will be enough.  If doing my best honors God, then why is it not enough for me.  That’s just pride, making my best not good enough for me but it’s been said by the Lord himself that my best is good enough for Him.  in fact it honors Him. I am beginning to get the fact that everything my hand touches doesn’t have to turn to gold, just that I need to approach these tasks as a gold maker.  I need do my very best and it will be enough.   That’s it!  Try my best and it will be enough!