When someone says communication is the key to all heathy relationships please listen. They are like a wise old owl. They know their stuff. I have some very very close girlfriends that I believe have healthy communication. With that being said, we SUCK at really telling the truth and being clear in our communication. Just when you think you know how to say what you really mean, its misunderstood or taken out of context or even better yet not communicated at all. Over the past few days, I have had some pretty tough bouts with these girls. There has been some hurt feelings, misunderstandings, anger, bad language, and if you can think of anything else that could go wrong please insert here happen in our conversations. I wonder when Jesus said your tongue is like the rudder of a ship what He really meant by this statement in James. My thoughts tend to come out too quickly are are not seasoned as they should be. I am at fault for some poor communication. But( I love buts inserted in blogs), I will say that the poor communication did produce good fruit. These misunderstandings and hurts were dealt with in an appropriate manner spurring growth. I love it. What was meant for evil was used for good. Growth seems to the common denominator in life these days. What a great theme. Without this growth I would become stale and not produce any fruit. Thank you Jesus for this safe place to learn.
Archive for the 'authenticity' Category
A wise old owl once said_______
I am nearing the end of a program called Living Well that I have been involved with for the last 3 years. It has been an awesome eye opening experience. I can’t even begin to describe the things I have learned about myself as in the way I act, my personality, my emotional healing process, and how to have healthy Godly relationships with boundaries. Last night, we had a talk on humility. I thought what a nice topic to have as one of our last classes. I’m sure that I don’t have a ton of struggles with pride. Wow…I was hit right between the eyes. I have very little..when I say very little I mean very little humility with a ton to learn and grow in terms of humility in the arena of a servant leader. Humility is being free of pride or unassuming being a servant unto the Lord for His glory with no glory of my own. Humility is also an attitude of submission. In order to have true humility, it starts with an accurate self image. I have to know who I am in the eyes of Christ. I have to know that my worth has already been established with what Jesus did on the cross. In order to fulfill my life’s purpose that the Lord has placed me here for, I have to come to the realization that the task that has been set before me is more important than me. The Lord’s will will be done, but not as precisely if I am seeking any glory for myself. Humility doesn’t mean that I lack confidence, just arrogance. I need Christ- centered confidence, this coming from knowing who I am in Christ. The lecture last night gave 7 ways to test humility. 1- ability to let go of control. 2- ability to ask for help. 3- having no sense of entitlement. 4- having a clear understanding of my righteousness that has been given through Christ. 5-transparency. 6-obedience 7- serving out of Love and not fear. I can definitely say that I fail at most of these tests. With coming to the realization of my purpose in life, I want to have humility to be able to give God the glory and take none for my own. The one thing I came to see in myself was I am afraid. I am afraid that my mission in life won’t seem huge. That the plan for my life won’t be “big” in the eyes of anyone. With that said, my heart was pricked to realize that if I am serving in submission to the Lord, I will be satisfied. I will have a purpose no matter how small it seems to some it will be huge to me. I want to be in God’s will and do the work he has set out before me with a humble heart and attitude. My prayer is that the Lord will begin to show me where I need to be humbled and give me an opportunity to walk it out. “ Lord please help me to walk out my destiny with a servant’s heart with ability to let go of the reigns. I want more of You and less of me” If you think of me in the next few days please pray for me. I truly want to be right in the middle of what God has for me.
Yet another year has gone by…
As 2007 comes to a close, I think about what I have done this year. There are many things I could say. This year has been a year of growth for me. I have had my faith tested in many different ways. I feel that this year Christ was, for lack of a better word, testing me to see if I would seek Him even when things weren’t working out how I thought they should. There were times when I could not feel the presence of God at all. I must admit that it was hard to put my faith in someone that I could not feel. I however, decided that that is what my faith is. It is belief in someone unseen in the natural. I found it hard to deny the fact that God was distant even in those times. He comforted me in ways that I can’t even describe to you. He allowed “Jesus with skin on” to help push me forward. When I least expected it, someone would “call me out” or have just the right encouraging words to say to me when they had no idea what I was going through.
It has also been a year of testing of my trust in Christ. Being 29 and single you start to wonder “okay God…when is it my turn”. I have to state that I did take some situations into my own hands only to find out that it wasn’t the right time or the right person depending on the situation. I can only come to grips with the fact that no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, that if I am in God’s will for my life and actively seeking Him, then He is in control. I am still in the process of learning to trust Him with things that are very near and dear to my heart. It’s funny how as humans we can trust God with big things but when its a heart issue we hold onto to the problem with white knuckles. After much praying and crying I can with a truthful heart say that I will love Him no matter what He sees fit for my life. That kind of sacrifice is the toughest for me because I want to be in control and want instant gratification.
I am looking forward to starting a new year with some new intentions. I want to be more intentional with my relationships with those near me. I want to be a person of the up-most integrity. Integrity has always been something I strived for but sometimes fell very short. I want to keep on the path of pursuing that integrity that I know is possible with Christ’s help. I want to be so in-tune with the voice of God that we have conversations all day long like He is my best friends sitting right next to me. I look forward to starting fresh and living out a life that is pleasing to my Lord. If there is one thing I could ask from you would be prayer as I am still in the refining process of my life. I am in the wilderness being prepared and I am excited to see what God will do with my willing heart.
Authenticity Wanted?
I have always taken some pride in my relationships. I have felt that I have become a good communicator with my friends and other significant relationships. I guess that I came to expect the same out of others. I recently became very frustrated when I realized it doesn’t matter how well you communicate, it takes two to have a fulfilling relationship. I have several friends that I simply can not communicate with. There has been things said in secret about others and when confronted, there is no admitting it. I am one to forgive and forget after things are talked out and sorted through. However, it becomes uber aggravating with the other party when there is no willingness to talk or even be real. I would love to have openness and realness in all my relationships like I have experienced in several others. It has come to my attention that I may never get that from these select relationships and I have come to accept it. I have to forgive for me and not for them. It does me no good to hold a small grudge when they have no idea how to communicate. I’m not saying that I am perfect at communication and its still a learning process, but I will engage in real conversation.
When one realizes it takes real gut wrenching communication to have great relationships, it gets scary. Nobody likes to let someone into those places that only you know and see. I will say that the people that I have elected to let into those places have shown great loyalty and to be trustworthy. I have found a few “safe” people. I pray that God helps me to be as real I can, revealing only what is needed to the right people at the right time. I just want to be authentic. I pray He also helps me to realize that I don’t have to be frustrated with those that don’t know how to communicate and He teaches me how to relate and be in relationship with them.
