A4

I have come to a realization lately,  we ( humans) are really broken people.  You might say, wow huge revelation!  But it is a GIGANTIC revelation.  As a human myself, I don’t like to think of myself as being broken or incapable.  I don’t like to think that I can’t work everything out on my own.  I don’t like to think of myself  not being able to control!  There I said it…I like to control. I had a conversation with a friend the other day and this question came up..” Why is that the harder I pray and do right, things just aren’t happening?”   I have to admit for a split second I was thinking crap…this is going to mirror something in me.    But here it is…God is not a vending machine.  Yes, he wants to bless us, yes he wants to protect us, yes he wants us to be healthy. However, God never promised anything to be easy.  He did promise it would be worth it in the end to follow him.  I know for a long time, I had the mentality of the vending machine god.  Put in my money, press A4  and receive answered prayer.  I have come to realize that most things I pray for involve other people. People hurt people.  People have free will, I have free will, therefore God won’t make me or others his puppet.  What He will do is guide me to the right way of responding to situations if I will quit pitching a fit like a kid and listen. Become willing to obey.  So what is the point of praying if nothing happens?  HOPE and TRUST.  I have hope when I pray.  Hope keeps me going.   I trust when I pray the Lord hears my cries, and He will answer.  But like a parent, God doesn’t always answer the way I want.  Sometimes I don’t understand the way He answers until years later.  I have HOPE and TRUST with God, I can’t say that I always have that with myself.  I definitely can’t rely on my feelings and being that I have some melancholy in my personality, I definitely don’t always have hope for myself outside of Christ.

Guess who’s back….

I have felt like I needed to start this blog thing again for some time.  I identified that the reason I stopped blogging before was I didn’t really thinking anyone wanted to hear my thoughts…then I realized, I don’t really care.  I want to get my thoughts out…out of my head.  Maybe, just maybe, someone will relate to my life.  This thing called life is so interesting and hopefully some of my experiences will come to life right here in the words I type.  So with that being said, I am ready to write again.

With that being said, I should probably give you a quick update on my life.  I have been married to an incredible man for the last year and several months.  Our wedding was beautiful and filled with tons of people we love and care about.  I couldn’t ask for a man that compliments me better.  Eharmony did a good job!  I’m blessed  to be a part of two different ministries.  I am interning with Living Well Ministries training to be a facilitator as well as volunteering as a youth leader at my church.  Its a huge honor to walk out life with all the folks I come in contact with.  I love them!  My husband and I are embarking on the house hunting/ buying scene, hoping that comes to fruition.  So, thats where I  am.  Hang tight, more will be revealed.

I’m gettin’ hitched!

This girl is getting married in March 2009!  I wanted to show off my man to all of yall, so here are a couple of random shots of us.  The Lord has really blessed me with an awesome husband to be.  I am excited to start my new journey with him by my side.   I am very thankful for Dustin Martin and can’t wait to be his wife.

Check this out…

I had someone dear to me show me this link.  Check this out and tell me what you think?

Newspaper confirms Obama is a Socialist

Sneak peek….

 

Here are a few pictures of the Chick-fil-a / FCA City Championship Game that I shot last night.  The Brunswick High Pirates captured their 3rd title in row.

in shock…

I stole this video from my friend Chris Moncus’ blog.  As I watched this video, I wept.  Seriously, when are we going to wake up as a nation, as humans, or as christians and realize the depth of our sin.  My heart is breaking right now that somewhere, a tiny baby may be placed on a cold stainless table in the dark to die.

 

 

words that make me cringe….

have you ever heard a word that just makes you cringe…I have a list that I am willing to share with you….here it is…

• moist
• lubricate
• mucus
• phlegm

What words do you hate?

Maybe my most embarrassing dating moment….

I’m up pretty late tonight.  I’ve got a ton of things swirling in my head…I just got home from Atlanta where I was visiting my new man.  Let’s just say he’s great, but on to the embarrassing story.  This weekend was for us to spend some quality time together/ me meet his friends and parents.  Saturday was awesome we hung out all day long.  We ran some early morning errands, ate some sushi at Atlantic Station for lunch, followed by spreading the Good News at Little Five Points.  It was a great day.  Saturday night, we were going to have dinner with Dustin’s parents at Longhorn.  I was looking forward to meeting them, getting to know them.  On the 30 minute drive, I started feeling nauseous.  I had that cold sweat going on, where you know at any minute you are going to just barf.  The feeling would come in waves.  I didn’t say anything to Dustin, because I thought maybe it was nerves, but I wasn’t nervous. Upon reaching Longhorn, his parents were not there so I made my way to the restroom feeling really sick again.  Praying I would just vomit so I could feel better.  Nothing.  The wave passed and I came out to meet his parents.   I sat down and started talking with his mom and dad.  Everything was going fine until another wave of nausea came around.  I ran to the bathroom again, praying this time would be it.  Maybe I would get sick and get some relief.  Nothing.  I had broken out into another cold sweat. I got it together and went back out there.  This happened two more times in the restaurant, needless to say I was embarrassed.  I had all these things swirling in my head of what his parents thought about me….maybe she’s pregnant, maybe she’s bulimic (yeah right) maybe she’s just really nervous (nope not it either).  They were really sweet about the entire thing, I was just really embarrassed.  I mean this was the first impression they had of me.  So….I couldn’t quite get it together, I tried to eat a piece of bread thinking that would help…wrong answer!  As soon as the bread hit my stomach, I knew it was over.  I excused myself form the table one more time to go to the car and lay down.  Dustin walked me out and about half way to the car, I knew it was coming.  I told him he could leave, but like the gentleman that he is, he wanted to walk me to the car.  I pleaded that he go back inside, but it was too late. I was bent over in the parking lot, barfing everything I had had that day.  Not a sight you want the man you are dating to see.  I had me hands on my knees projectile vomiting.  It was horrible!  I must say I felt so much better after that.  It had to be the sushi.  God love Dustin, he promptly went inside to get his food to go.  As I sat there, I felt much much much better and decided to go in to talk with his parents after all.  I had great conversation with them for about 20 minutes until their food came out.  They had all ordered prime rib.  It was the biggest slab of cow I had ever seen.  Don’t get me wrong, I love  steak. These were huge, bleeding (exaggeration), and had sauces on top of them.  Not something you want to see or smell when you don’t feel well.  I excused myself again only to go to the car and lie down.  I didn’t get sick again, but I did fall asleep.  I slept the rest of the way home.  Now, let me tell you that Dustin and his parents were great.  His mom called to check on me the next day and Dustin never acted like he was grossed out at all.  I’m not really sure how he couldn’t be, but he never said one word other than we both joked about it.  His parents were great, really nice, and VERY understanding.  I look forward to having another dinner with them to get to know them more.  I defintely may have the funniest meet the parents story ever.

M.I.A.

I have been taking a break from blogging on purpose.  I been doing and am still doing some tough inventory of my soul.  I have found some things that I am not proud of and some things that make me leap for joy.  I have had some correction, some encouragement and some very loving times with the Lord lately.  I look forward to sharing some of that with you shortly.  I want to get a few of my thoughts together before I just “pour” it all out on here with no rhyme or reason.  Stay tuned.

~charity

Being Still

One would think I would have learned this little lesson by now.  I have been rolling this over and over in my head. “Be still and know that I am God”.  One thing that I hate more than anything is being still.  Being still represents not doing anything to me.  It makes me feel that I am not “working out my salvation”. I am being faced with the fact that I have to learn to trust the Lord for everything.  That He is my supply and my bread of life.  How hard is that simple Truth.  Freaking ridiculously hard…that’s how hard!  I am in the place where I am having to make some decisions right now, how much to take on, how to deal with people I don’t want to deal with, what’s my next move, and etc…  All of these situations are awaiting my attention.  I have placed so much stress on the fact that I have to make a decision that I miss the fact that the Lord has a plan for me and all I have to do is make the next right move.  Take the next right step.  It may be a long period of time between steps, but that is all I am required to do.  

I have become wrapped up in my actions that I forgot to consult that coordinator.  Being still has become a theme for me over the last year or so.  I keep coming back to resting in the Lord’s promise that He will supply ALL I need.  Supplying all I need means He will supply everything.  The methods he uses may not look how I want or be done the way I think is the best, but who I am to question that way the Lord works.  I have wrestled with the Lord on this very subject. The conclusion I have come up with is, I am a prideful being thinking my plans are better and higher than the Lord’s.  What a slap in the face.  

So, I know take rest in the fact that I am only responsible for the here and now.  I can be content where he has me, growing me and maturing me until it’s show time! I say thank you Jesus that I haven’t jumped or ran when I really wanted.  He will supply all my needs.